Crunchy

This week I met a woman who describes herself as “crunchy.” She is, of course, poking fun at the term “nut and granola” which is used to describe people who are interested in natural living principles. Natural-living folk are interesting - they refrain from using chemicals in their home (from cleaning supplies to pain relievers), eat organic whole foods and feed these foods to their families, try to reduce their negative impact on the environment, and they often adopt unconventional views of modern medicine. They are frequently viewed as “weirdos,” “hippies,” and “crazies” (all descriptions I’ve heard firsthand), and people tend to think that they’re a bit left of center. Even in today’s “healthy chic” culture where environmentalism and healthy eating are trendy, true adherents to natural living fundamentals are still viewed as abnormal (in the negative connotation of the word).

It’s true - the world at large is not typically kind to crunchy people. Despite this, though, I want to be one. Yes, I want to be an amber-wearing, whole-foods-eating, chemical-free-cleaning, non-vaccinating, cloth-diapering, homemade-baby-food-making hippie. So what’s stopping me?

Before Fox was born, I made so many plans that never came to fruition. I was determined to do a drug-free natural childbirth, which of course turned out to be a c-section. I was sure that I would never need a single disposable diaper, as I was going to use cloth diapers. Of course, now that Fox is nearly 6 months old, we have gone through hundreds of disposable diapers - he has maybe worn cloth for 30 minutes. I planned to breastfeed him exclusively for as long as possible, but I could only nurse him for two weeks before I got a blood clot, went on blood thinners which had a questionable level of nursing safety, and my milk dried up. I am learning to come to terms with these things and accept them as the way things are. I try to take comfort in the fact that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason, and I’m reminded of Proverbs 16:9: “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps“ and Proverbs 16: 33: ”The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.“ As challenging and discouraging as these setbacks have been, I am convinced they were providential nonetheless, and I can be comforted and encouraged by that.

It’s taken me a long time to come to this point though. When nothing turned out the way I planned (and being a mother turned out the be the hardest and most exhausting thing I’ve ever done), I wallowed. I have been having a pity party for myself for 6 months. As a result of that pity party, I sighed and recoiled from the idea of trying to accomplish any goals (especially hard ones like becoming crunchy), assuming that these plans would fail like all my others. So that is what has stopped me until now.

But today is a new day. I have begun eating a completely different diet - no white carbohydrates, no added sugar, all whole foods - and I’m already noticing positive changes in my health and sense of wellbeing. Of course I still get discouraged at the long road ahead - but Rome wasn’t built in a day, and Laura’s health was not restored in a month. So I will keep at it, and hopefully be better for it. The success of my diet (now nearing the end of its third week) has inspired me to revisit my goals and interests, such as embracing the nut and granola lifestyle.

There are plenty of obstacles. My 6-month-old baby, for instance, who keeps me busy constantly and leaves very little time for altering my lifestyle. Our finances, which make it difficult to continue to buy whole, organic foods each week at the grocery store when I’m counting every penny and Easy Mac is so cheap (thankfully, the idea of Easy Mac makes me want to gag). The opinion of other people in my life matters to me too, though most are supportive (or at least don’t make fun of me to my face). But these are small obstacles in light of the benefits of the changes I plan to make.

But there are little things I can do, and each one changes me a little. And so, off I go to try to make myself and my family just a little healthier today.